RISING by SAM Ruh

It doesn't breathe, it doesn't sigh, but yet it is a living being.
It can grow enormous, and yet remain skillfully unseen.
It treads slowly through the hallways, I can't hear its sound.
It attacks us when we are unarmed, quick and sharp like a hound.

I don't realize its presence, but heavy I do feel.
I try hard to shrug this away, but this is tough to deal.
My heart feels pounded painfully, it gives up and shatters.
I fix the wound and try to heal, but nothing helps or matters.
It consumes me mercilessly, and I remain its helpless prey.
I want to fight, I want to kill, but it's all unclear and grey.
I surrender and give in, wanting this pain to quickly end.
It lived in me and it grew, it had nothing to repent.

I lay numb as I wait, thinking — this story needs to end.
It wrapped me tight and now there is no space left to tend.
I closed my eyes, I let it go. Now strangely, it felt light.
Where did all the cruelty leave, I don't see it in my sight.

Pain has done its part, now it seems ready to die.
As it takes its last slow breaths, it looks at the open sky.
I feel free, I feel strong, I feel a sense of peace.

Looking at a mirror, I do not like what I see.
I don't want to be this person, I don't want to be this me.
I want to be the one with the smile, the one with the twinkle in her eye,
I want to be the person in my dreams — will I ever, before I die.

I want to reach her soon, the person of my dreams.
I give up often too soon, so hard for me it always seems.
I want to try again some more, standing up one more time.
It's not that hard, I hear me say, it does not cost a dime.

I imagine my voice so confident, firm and steady it sounds,
I stand still and tall and brave, knowing I have no bounds.
No longer scared or left alone, I feel good on my own.
I would turn into this person — the best version I have ever known.

I have walked through the fire, I have sat with the rain,
I have carried the weight of my heart, so very full of pain.
But something inside me refused to let go,
A flicker, a whisper, a small spark of glow.

The mirror once showed me a cold face.
Let's change slowly, it says.
I am tired but trying, I am broken but whole,
I am learning that beauty begins within my soul.

She is wild, she is free, a mystery — the sane ones say.
Not to be befriended, lest she becomes the cause of dismay.
They said — be wary, she is raw, true, and brutally honest.
Stay away and resist, never trust — this will be for your best.

She is carefree, immensely careless, and her — you never can control.
Stay away for your peace and calm — I warn! She is a wandering old soul.
They said she can be warm and cozy, and make you fall deeply in love.
It won't be the beautiful romance written from heavens up above.

They declared —
Beware! She is insane, like no one you have ever known.
She is unstoppable, unbreakable — also known to put on a great show.
They said — run, O weak-hearted, she hunts the wise and peaceful.
She brings throbbing pain to your only heart, O you — the calm and restful.

They brought fires and pitchforks to fight — they want her to die.
They want her to scream in pain, they want her to cry.
They were wrong, like many others — they had walked into a trap.
She was skilled, an expert, she had many feathers on her cap.

Now to get some rest, I walk into the shade.
It has been a tough day, but the stronger I am made.
Some trusts were broken, some masks that fell.
Some sweet words of token, fake, and shallowness within it dwell.

But then, some blood fell turning the night sky red.
Some pain I consumed, power it had fed.
I might look defeated and weak, giving up slowly.
I am, yes, alone. But I am not lonely.

As the new day dawns and the evils rise again,
I will wake up with all the strength to tackle all the pain.
I am back once again for another battle to fight.
I promise to self — I will give them a special show tonight.